you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
