Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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