she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
why is half of my head shaved?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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