Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
