Im at strip club and am horny
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
