I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
...so i touched it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
