i just wanna soil my oats bro
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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