What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
