Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize