i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Someone signed my nipple.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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