Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize