She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
