ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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