mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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