you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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