I just saw a hot homeless man
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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