I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
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Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I just sharted jello shots
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