I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize