I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize