We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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