he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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