My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
