You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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