I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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