i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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