Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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