Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.