I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
