So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up