I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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