you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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