glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
And then he peed in my hair
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