I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
