Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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