also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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