To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
