Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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