Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
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