I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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