I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize