I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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