You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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