found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
