You made me cry and you don't even care
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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