She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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