I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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