We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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