How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize