he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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