if i can run in heels then i can drive
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
